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Crafting your identity around being able to pass through meaningless, transient encounters without much thought will start to shape who you are, what you look for, and where you derive both pleasure and happiness.
Of course, during the actual act of the hook-up we feel good.
By Heidi Priebe This Is The Kind Of Guy You Should Wait For By Emily Higgins Zodiacs Ranked From Who Gives Out Second Chances To Who Holds Lifelong Grudges By Holly Riordan One Day Youre Gonna Meet Someone Who Feels Like Home By Kirsten Corley The 50 Things.But the reason we say things like this is less about actual happiness of having had a phenomenal time and more about the social cachet it buys.I was reminded of this late on Friday evening as my long-term boyfriend held back my hair while I vomited into one of those cardboard NHS potties and my phone buzzed and buzzed with what I suspected was a booty call (destined to go unanswered).Thats because they dont ever do for us what we think they will.Now Im sure there will be lots of people ready to contest this claim that hook-ups arent actually all theyre cracked up.The university of essex regeringen problem with this though is that in order to have a healthy, long-term relationship in the future, you need to become comfortable with yourself now.Both from personal experience and from talking to friends, men almost always have a deep desire to connect emotionally, yet to admit it, to bring our own emotions to the table, would not only compromise our perceived masculinity in the eyes of our friends but.The fact that its supposedly a big deal that women are enacting agency over their hook-ups and seeking them out is only because its long been assumed that one-night-stands and emotionless hook-ups were solely a mans game.We know the presence of a mobile phone to be catnip to trend-piece journalists, and indeed, the glut of coverage that new app Tinder has received bears this out.Aimless hook-ups, manly as they may be, will always be a losing game.I should add that the calls are never from British men, who understand that implicit in the whole casual-sex arrangement is the caveat that they do not contact you three years down the line when you are in a happy relationship, or indeed ever.The idea driving hook-ups for men is two-fold.Trivial intimacy means our identity and perception of self is influenced by people who dont have much stake in our well-being.Its no use taking these things so seriously or thinking that these types of decisions have a lasting effect, right?Although the silly season is well under way in Britain, we must spare a thought for our American friends, who this summer have been bombarded with a succession of fatuous trend pieces regarding college "hookup culture".